These glorious insults are from an era before the English language
got boiled down to a 4-letter word
_______________________________________________________________
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
_______________________________________________________________
A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli,
"whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
_______________________________________________________________
"I have never killed a man,
but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Clarence Darrow
_______________________________________________________________
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend.... If you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... If there is one."
Winston Churchill, in response.
_______________________________________________________________
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Winston Churchill
_______________________________________________________________
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
Mark Twain
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain
_______________________________________________________________
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S. Cobb
_______________________________________________________________
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde
_______________________________________________________________
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
Billy Wilder
_______________________________________________________________
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Mae West
_______________________________________________________________